Sex Toy 411

Bondage Tips - Restraining Sex Toys

Alright, you know something about the kind of restraints available. However, I want to make sure you also have some knowledge on the proper way to restrain them, regardless of device you use. These tips apply to even using stockings from your drawer.

Make sure your partner is restrained in a secure and comfortable way.

If stress on muscles and joints isn't part of the fun, and it shouldn't be in the beginning, then your partner should feel comfortable in the position that he/she is restrained in. Also make sure all your restraint toys are safely secured and that your partner is not leaning up or lying against anything that may become irritating or painful over a period of time. It doesn't hurt to ask your Sub if he/she is comfortable, especially if this is the first time your engaging in this type of play. And if you're the one being restrained, let your Dom know if something doesn't feel right or uncomfortable.

Make sure blood flow and breathing is not restricted.

Don't tie anything, such as collars or chokers, tightly around the neck. Be careful tying things around wrists, ankles and genitals, make sure it's secure, but not cutting off the blood circulation.  Always make sure your partner's nose and mouth are revealed and able to take in air. This is more for folks who use masks and gag items.

Don't leave your partner's arms or legs suspended up in the air too long. 

The blood flow will be lessened tremendously and become numb and tingly. Stay in touch with your partner and lower them when he/she says to or when the limbs start to feel cold. The same applies for the whole body. If play is going to last a long time, plan for periods of time where your lover can move his/her limbs to get the blood circulating.

Never leave someone alone when their movement is restricted. 

If play consists of abandoning your Sub, make sure you can always see him/her wherever you disappear to. For emergency purposes, you need to be able to get to your lover quickly to release him/her. So this means no answering phone calls, emails, etc.

Make sure all your bondage gear can be removed quickly. 

Have keys, surgical scissors readily available so you can get your partner out an emergency. This isn't meant to scare you away, it's just to keep you prepared and safe.

Take your time restraining your lover. 

Doing it slowly and carefully makes the experience deeper and more erotic. It also allows you to take your time and concentrate on doing it safely. Remember, you're just restraining your partner, not assaulting him/her.

Make sure the restraints aren't going to get tighter if he/she pulls on them, because they will definitely pull on them. 

This can be done when you first get the restraints. Restrain your partner, out of play time and have him/her move around and struggle while in them to make sure they don't tighten up or cinch the skin. This will also give your Sub assurance that he/she is in good hands and will be okay. Remember this type of play is based on trust.

A popular restrictive item is handcuffs, have a key easily accessible. 

Please make sure you have a key handy and make sure they're not clasped too tightly around the skin.

Make sure you both have a "safe word." 

A "safe word" is a  word that would be absurd to say during play, that when said means all action is to stop. The reason why you have stopped can be explored later. But the important thing is that when this word is said, everything stops. If you're unable to speak have another signal that's easily picked up and/or seen i.e. finger snapping, humming, toe tapping, etc.

It is important that you know your partner's medical information before you tie them up. 

Taking a basic CPR or first aid course is suggested before getting deeply involved in bondage play. Also keep your phone handy just in case you need to dial 911. I'm not saying that play will get dangerous, but you always want to assure your partner that they're in good hands, if any thing should ever go wrong.

Communication is the key

It should also be made absolutely clear what each person wants and expects out of the experience. So communicate, communicate, communicate. Remember safe, sane and consensual.

Find out what your partner's limits and boundaries are.

What doesn't he/she want you to do under any circumstances? For example a partner may say, "I would love for you to tie me up and blindfold me. You can sexually pleasure me in any way, but don't go near my ass." or "I would love to be tied up and blindfolded, but never whipped or spanked." These limits must be respected and abided by. Your partner is trusting you with his/her body, don't violate it, even accidentally. If unsure, ask or don't do it at all.

Those are pretty basic rules. Lots of them should be common sense. Sometimes the tips sound very serious and it may seem to some that there's so much to think about, how can this be fun? It can be. By taking the time to learn now, communicate with your partner, experiment with your toys out of playtime all while keeping the safety and comfort of your partner in mind, you can both have a wonderful time. Enjoy the process!