Sex Toy 411

Dildo Tips - How To Use

Dildos, just like every other sex toy, do not come with instructions. So this article should give you enough knowledge to rock your dildo. Remember there is no right or wrong when it comes to using a dildo. Just do what feels good. You will notice that this article is written for solo play; it's the best way to learn about yourself and your dildo. However, even if you want to experiment with your partner, this article can be applied to you as well.

Lubrication, lubrication, lubrication

The most important tip on using any kind of penetrative toy, such as a dildo, is to use a lot of lubrication. A dildo does not produce its own lubrication like a penis. Most materials will not glide easily if not lubricated. And if you plan on using a dildo, don't believe the misconception that women's own lubrication is all she needs. No matter how much a woman lubricates herself, there's nothing better then adding more. Many materials will also absorb your natural juices, resulting in a very unpleasant friction that can be very painful and leave one sore for days after.

Make sure you're adequately aroused

After applying a generous amount of lube to your orifice of choice, vagina or anus, (we cover anal penetration in the Anal Toys section) it's time to start play. Now you can't start any type of play with immediate penetration. So relax, lay back, stimulate your genitals with your fingers and/or hand. If you're playing with your lover, have him/her orally stimulate you first (flavored lube might be good here).

Slow and steady penetration

Insert the dildo slowly the first time and take a long deep breaths. Breathing deeply causes blood to rush to the genitals, helping them to engorge and relax. Short, shallow breaths or holding your breath stops all that from happening, resulting in tightness and tenseness. Once you insert it, try leaving it there for a moment before pulling it out. You don't have to penetrate yourself with the entire dildo. If it has a stubby head, just thrust the head in and out. Some women like deep penetrations while others like shallow penetrations. Remember it's your toy, you're in control. But vary it so you can feel different sensations. Lube up your genitals and dildo and rub it against your lips and clitoris, teasing yourself first then penetrate.

Enjoy what you're feeling

Whether you're using your dildo alone or with a partner, go slow and be gentle in the beginning. Take your time and enjoy what your feeling. If you find you're getting more excited and want it harder, faster or deeper then do it or tell your partner to do.

Curved Dildo

If you have a curved dildo, angle the curve up toward the front wall of your vagina, to stimulate your g-spot.

Double Dildo

If you're using a double dildo with a partner, be ready for some periods of awkwardness. Double Dildos aren't as easy to use as they seem. It takes proper positioning and coordinating your movements with your partner to do it successfully. An enjoyable position to try is the two of you lying on your sides back to back with your legs scissor together. Your head will be by your partner's feet as her head should be by your feet. You can also try both bending over, positioning yourselves butt to butt and riding the dildo together. Please be advised that one of you or maybe both may need to hold on to the center of the dildo to keep it steady. 

If you're using a Double Dildo on your own for simultaneous vaginal and anal penetration, make sure you buy one with a plastic spine in it. The spine will ensure that the dildo keep its position or it will keep popping out of one of your orifices. This interruption may be very unpleasant and frustrating. And make sure the spine is plastic because a metal spine may start to rip through the material after several uses and can damage your fragile genital tissue.

The key to success

The key to successful use of your dildo with a partner is communication. Your partner can't feel your reactions when using a dildo like he/she can feel with his penis or his/her fingers. This means that if you tense up from any discomfort, your partner can't feel that. And, if you are getting really excited and want it harder, faster or deeper, your partner can not feel you pushing harder or squeezing tighter. So you must communicate these needs to him/her. Don't be afraid of hurt feelings. There's nothing wrong with telling your partner what you want or need. The point of sexual play is too get off and enjoy yourselves, if you're not having fun, you must be able to switch gears to make it right.