Sex Toy 411

Vibrators - Common Misconceptions About Use

I bet most of the things you've heard about vibrators and vibrator use is not true. Even though vibes have been a getting more attention lately, people still have issues with using them, so unfortunately, these myths and misconceptions still exist...but I'm here to eradicate them!

I'll become addicted to it!

You say that as if it's a bad thing...it's not...really! The purpose of any kind of sexual play is to give and/or receive sexual pleasure. If a vibrator is what stimulates you the best, it should be used regardless of whether you're engaging in self pleasure or partner play. There are so many different kinds of vibrators out there: battery, electric, strap-ons or cock rings with vibrators, that there's one to fulfill every one of your needs in all situations. So don't worry about it getting in the way of partner sex. Small discreet massagers like the Pocket Rocket work perfectly with partner sex. For hands free use, try a strap-on vibe like the Micro Butterfly. These vibes are attached to a thin harness that holds the vibe against the clit. With it being held against the clit, it in no way interferes in intercourse.

My girlfriend won't want me anymore!

Nothing can ever replace the love and affection of another human being. Never feel threatened by any toy that your lover wants to use. If it's something that he/she likes and using it is within your boundaries, embrace it. By using the vibrator with your girlfriend, you'll be respected more because you're fulfilling her desires. You'll be seen as a better lover for it.

By feeling threatened and insecure, you'll only start building a wall between you and your girlfriend. Love is about compromising and understanding your lover's needs. A vibrator is only an enhancement to sexual play, it's not a substitute. So hear your partner out before dismissing the idea. By embracing this toy you'll be a more confident lover knowing that your satisfying your girlfriend and ultimately, you'll be more secure in your relationship because there's no reason for her to go anywhere else for satisfaction.

A toy can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Think of it like this, if the toy is enjoyed that much and is that important and you shoot down the possibility of using it, who do you think is going to stay with her the longest, you or the toy? Don't panic, usually ultimatums aren't given over a toy, but I can assure you that it will still be used, so why not get in on the fun?

I've heard that once women start to use a vibrator, they can't achieve an orgasm without one. I don't want to be caught in a rut like that.

You will not need a vibrator all the time. But a vibrator is very pleasing to a lot of women because it provides that constant, consistent stimulation of the clitoris that some women need to achieve orgasm. You have control over your use of it. If you don't want to use it all the time, then don't. Leave it stored in your toy box or drawer periodically when you play.

The fear of thinking you'll need it all the time, is part of the belief that using one is wrong in the first place. Do you have a favorite band? Do you have any of their songs on your player? Have you listened to those songs more then once? twice? five times? a dozen times? If you answered yes, then what's wrong with using your favorite toy more then once, twice or a dozen times? Absolutely nothing!

Use your vibrator as much as you'd like. If you like it and it makes you feel good adding it to partner sex will make it feel even better, physically and emotionally. Physically, the pleasure of the vibrator is intensified when combined with your lover's physical affection and touch. Mentally, knowing that your lover has embraced this toy with you and wants you to feel the ultimate pleasure every time he/she is with you sexually can be very arousing. If your fear is of it getting in the way, there are a variety of different kinds of vibrators. The moral of the story, finding your vibrator very pleasurable and wanting to use it often is not wrong, nor does it make you a bad person!

I'm very happy with the orgasms I have from intercourse alone.

That is absolutely wonderful! You're one of very few. There are so many women out there that would love to be in your shoes. Some women have been having vaginal intercourse for years without ever really experiencing an orgasm. Vibrators provide that constant stimulation to the clit that a hand, tongue or intercourse can not adequately provide. The clit has 8,000 nerves in it. Just think of how a vibrator might intensify your already fulfilling orgasm.

Using a vibrator means I'm inadequate or abnormal.

Another big 'no' on this one. If you're concerned about your partner using a vibrator during sex or even for masturbation when you're not around, it just means that she likes the sensations it gives her. It doesn't have to mean that you don't give her enough of pleausure. Not at all. This your own insecurities taking over here.

If you're concerned about being abnormal because you want to use a vibrator, don't...stop...right now. Did you know that the adult industry makes like 8 billion dollars a year. That number includes the sale of sex toys too. That's a lot of money, so a lot of people are using them. Vibrators are fun and they feel good and that's what sex is about, making yourself and your partner feel good!

Constant use can cause loss of sensation down there.

Actually, some women feel an increase in sensation by using vibrators because they learn about the different sensations that they like. By opening themselves up to different sensations, some women can achieve orgasm more easily. With the acceptance of such a toy, there's less anxiety during sexual play allowing one to relax and enjoy the experience more. Usually the desensitizing that is experienced is after using a very powerful vibe, but after a few minutes all sensitivity will be fully restored. If you're still concerned, stop using your vibe for awhile to retrain your body to enjoy other types of stimulation as well. Either way, loss of sensation is not gone forever, your body will acclimate to what it's given.

I used a vibe and it just numbs me.

There's more information in my (Tips on Use Article), but my quick answer would be that it was probably a very high powered vibe or your genitals are very sensitive. There is an easy solution, thanks to Betty Dodson, the Mother of Masturbation. Place a towel between your genitals and vibrator or place your hand between genitals and vibrator. The towel or your hand will absorb the vibrations causing them to be less intense and hopefully more enjoyable for you. If you're using an electrical vibe, maybe you should try a battery vibe, in which you have quite a range of control over the vibrations in order to make the vibrations less intense.

So stop worrying and get vibing! There's nothing wrong with using a vibrator if it feels good and if all partners are consenting to its use.